All the emotions...

I forgot how pregnancy makes you so emotional- or maybe that's just me... I will say this pregnancy (boy this time vs girl last time) has been TOTALLY different in the emotion department though. I feel tougher (that's a word right?), I have not cried nearly as often as I did when I was pregnant with Allie. However I do find myself having an opinion about things, and being able to make a decision better...maybe that comes with age and being a parent. I've also felt that things that SHOULD make me cry don't, they make me think. Mostly about life in general. 

The biggest emotion I have been having is feeling bad for Allie... All she has ever known is how to have our full attention and be with mom and dad. Having this baby brother is going to ROCK her world in so many ways. I feel bad that I won't be able to give her the attention I have been for the past 3 1/2 years, I feel bad that I will probably be less patient with her (especially when baby brother is an infant), and I feel bad that she will have to learn to share my time. I feel we are in a pretty good spot with her lately- YES she has her melt downs, but in general she has a good routine and she knows what we expect.  We are ALL in for a BIG surprise I suppose... 

Another emotion I have is the whole "what if" during pregnancy. Pregnancy is a crazy awesome thing, but there are so many unknowns. SO MANY!!! It makes it scary as well as amazing. I am SO lucky to have been able to get pregnant so "easily" this time and carry this baby this far, but don't get me wrong I worry about him ALL.THE.TIME. I constantly remind myself that I am doing the best I can and that anything that could/would happen is really beyond my control- just let it go. It's

not worth stressing over until it really becomes an issue. 

Also with this pregnancy comes the emotion of being "done". Done growing our family and done ever being this pregnant again. I am totally fine with this (I suppose I have to be- cause even though I "wanted" 4 kids, Scott "wanted" 1, he got suckered into 2 ;-) ALSO we are not getting any younger and if we tried to have that many more kids Scott would be almost 50, and I would be almost 40 by the end of it), but it is a little sad to think I will never be "this" pregnant again... 

My last emotion lately is the HOW am I going to do this? And really what was I thinking?! Haha!! I guess you never really know until it happens... Then you just "do it". But really, nursing an infant while your toddler runs rampant around your house. I'm pretty sure it won't take long for a wall to be colored on, or a light to be broken. I keep reminding myself that SO many people do this, we are already in parent mode so why not add another... I mean look how sweet and cute the first one is... Right...?